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District 1
Lux: Okay, Blessing first. Who wants to take this one?
Wolf: I ship her with Phil!
Phil: What? Why?
Wolf: *shrugs* Because you need someone.
Phil: I thought we were taking this seriously...? -_-
Thor: Do we ever take anything seriously?
Scorpio: Of course not. -_-
Viola: Blessing needs to be with someone that recognizes her bad-assery! If she was my age, I'd canoodle with her any time! ...Is that weird?
Piccolo: Yeah, just a bit. I agree, though, she needs someone that recognizes how fucking cool she is! I know that she and Cartier are pretty close, so maybe they'd be together?
Honore: Well the only people that give good love to the Victors live in the Capitol of course! So it would certainly have to be an escort, or one of us, of course. Namibia is a good friend of mine, and she knows how to recognize the greatness of our Victors!
Blessing: ...I'm good. Thanks though.
.
Lux: Next up, Cartier.
Wolf: I ship him with Phil.
Phil: Huh!? Why?!
Wolf: 'Cause you need someone!
Piccolo: Oh, I've got this one! I so ship him with one of the tributes in his Games. They exchanged some very meaningful looks. I wouldn't be surprised if something was happening behind the scenes.
Viola: Agreed!
Cupid: Cartier is a very rough kind of man. He needs someone that can soften his edges, I think. A gentle personality, like... Anthony Tidwell.
Aristotle: *giggles* That's a weird thing to ship!
Cupid: That's the point of the question, buddy.
Aristotle: Oh! A weird ship with Cartier in it? That's easy, there are so many weird possibilities!
Cartier: *clears his throat* Um, that... *fidgets nervously* Let's just move on.
.
Lux: Namibia Fuchsia next up.
Piccolo: *giggles* Well, she could be with Jovia if she was younger. I feel like she needs someone just as Fuchsia as her.
Viola: At least Jovia has good taste and isn't totally fuchsia though.
Piccolo: Maybe that's what she needs.
Honore: Oh, my good friend Namibia! What a lovely woman. She should only be with the best person in the entire Capitol of course. I suppose a District 1 citizen would be alright, but only a Victor or a very wealthy businessperson.
Boniface: She's a pretty nice person. I bet she could soften up someone like Skeeter Hofstadter if she really wanted to.
Aristotle: Ooooh, old people love! *giggles*
Cupid: *notices Honore bristling and quickly changes the subject* Please excuse him. Dear, you don't look a day over thirty.
Honore: *flustered giggles* Why thank you, Sir.
Cupid: Back on topic, I could even see her and Vale. They could even each other out.
Honore: *huffs* You are all nuts if you think someone like her would be with someone from a disgusting lower District!
Namibia: Calm down, girl, it's only a game after all! All are situations that are just as strange as they are unlikely, of course.
Lux: Namibia Fuchsia next up.
Piccolo: *giggles* Well, she could be with Jovia if she was younger. I feel like she needs someone just as Fuchsia as her.
Viola: At least Jovia has good taste and isn't totally fuchsia though.
Piccolo: Maybe that's what she needs.
Honore: Oh, my good friend Namibia! What a lovely woman. She should only be with the best person in the entire Capitol of course. I suppose a District 1 citizen would be alright, but only a Victor or a very wealthy businessperson.
Boniface: She's a pretty nice person. I bet she could soften up someone like Skeeter Hofstadter if she really wanted to.
Aristotle: Ooooh, old people love! *giggles*
Cupid: *notices Honore bristling and quickly changes the subject* Please excuse him. Dear, you don't look a day over thirty.
Honore: *flustered giggles* Why thank you, Sir.
Cupid: Back on topic, I could even see her and Vale. They could even each other out.
Honore: *huffs* You are all nuts if you think someone like her would be with someone from a disgusting lower District!
Namibia: Calm down, girl, it's only a game after all! All are situations that are just as strange as they are unlikely, of course.
District 2
Viola: NONA AMATORE. I SHIP HER WITH ME. SHE CAN SLAY ME ANYTIME.
Piccolo: ME TOO TBH I LOVE NONA AMATORE SHE CAN COME SLAY ME TOO.
Wolf: I ship her with-
Phil: Don't even say it.
Wolf: She's even in your age range though!
Thor: *teasing* I think that Helen Bethel is interested in her.
Pluto: Helen always drops to her knees and proposes. But I thought you only proposed when you love someone and they love you?
Wolf: I'm pretty sure that's just a joke.
Pluto: ...Why would you joke about that? Phil: It's... I can't explain. It's Helen.
Pluto: ...Oh. Okay?
Vanellope: Of course I'd ship her with myself.
Boniface: Come on, who wouldn't ship Nona Amatore with themselves?
Joost: Me. *plays with a drone in his hands* I would ship her with someone who isn't super starstruck about her. That sounds annoying.
Cupid: Oh, the joys of being gay. Nona Amatore is a big presence, she needs someone that can keep up with her, and someone that can play by her rules without crashing and burning.
Viola: I CAN BE THAT GIRL
Piccolo: I CAN BE THAT PERSON
Cupid: No, you can't even follow the rules of your job. Someone like... Michael, perhaps? Or maybe a younger, single, gay Cerena?
Pluto: She should go be a witch with Prisca Floridius. Sorry Vesp, but your sister is mean.
Nona: You'd better shut your mouth, or else I will make your life hell!
Pluto: *whimpers and hides behind Wolf*
Nona: I will choose who I see fit to be my man, thank you very much.
.
Lux: *clears his throat* Vesperus next.
Cupid: Now that's the kind of person I want to take me to town.
Lux: Yeah, he's really good at what he does. He'd be even better if he didn't keep stopping to ask me about the Arena.
Honore: I would certainly ship Vesperus Floridius with myself! Ah, have you seen him shirtless?
Wolf: I ship him with-
Phil: OH MY GOD STOP
Wolf: Whoever makes him happy, geez!
Thor: We love Vesp, he's the best.
Pluto: He needs to be with the best person in the whole wide world. No mentor or escort is good enough for him.
Scorpio: Agreed. He's our proud band Dad.
Saxon: I think Vesperus needs someone that will help him get his shit together. Because he rarely has his shit together, even if he pretends he has his shit together. He probably doesn't. Someone very organized, an escort perhaps. Maybe Jovia from District Six?
Aristotle: No, he needs a strong Career that cuts people's heads off like he did!! Someone strong like Port Stradlater!
Vanellope: Oh my God that... Could work...In a weird way.
Vesperus: *ruffles Pluto's hair* Aw, thanks bandies! Also, I do have my shit together, kind of, sometimes. Hmph.
.
Lux: Cerena?
Honore: Oh, of course her and her husband. I always wished they would work for the same District, as they're simply an unstoppable team!
Wolf: I ship her with Phil.
Phil: Okay that doesn't even make sense!
Wolf: *snickers* I barely know the woman, I'm just teasing.
Pluto: Cerena is very quiet. She likes me though, I think. She's nice to me. One time I had a nightmare about my Games and she told me a story to put me back to sleep.
Wolf: Who'd you ship her with then?
Pluto: *thinks* Um... Her husband. Why would you ship her with someone else?
Phil: That's the question.
Pluto: ...Okay?
Piccolo: She needs someone with that Games spirit to help her out! Someone like Blushina or Ambrose from Twelve!
Cerena: *sighs* I'd rather not be played like a pawn, thank you.
Lux: Cerena?
Honore: Oh, of course her and her husband. I always wished they would work for the same District, as they're simply an unstoppable team!
Wolf: I ship her with Phil.
Phil: Okay that doesn't even make sense!
Wolf: *snickers* I barely know the woman, I'm just teasing.
Pluto: Cerena is very quiet. She likes me though, I think. She's nice to me. One time I had a nightmare about my Games and she told me a story to put me back to sleep.
Wolf: Who'd you ship her with then?
Pluto: *thinks* Um... Her husband. Why would you ship her with someone else?
Phil: That's the question.
Pluto: ...Okay?
Piccolo: She needs someone with that Games spirit to help her out! Someone like Blushina or Ambrose from Twelve!
Cerena: *sighs* I'd rather not be played like a pawn, thank you.
District 3
Lux: Ellie Schultz. She's married, isn't she?
Cupid: With three kids, yes.
Viola: Yeah, true. This is just a hypothetical though, of course. So, let's see...
Piccolo: *sighs* She was pretty when she was a teen. I'd love to have known her when she was a young Victor.
Vanellope: Well, it's easy to ship her with Tav, just because they're so close and very good friends.
Aristotle: Let's make it weird! What about... *thinks* Maxim! That's weird, right?
Cupid: That's very weird, kiddo. Although... Just basing it on personalities, I suppose it'd be possible.
Phil: Ellie is the kindest woman, and her husband is great. She always has us over for tea, she's really nice. Y'know, if she wasn't married, she'd be a fine match for Vesperus.
Pluto: *shakes head* Not good enough. Nobody is good enough.
Honore: She and her husband are quite sweet, but she could have done so much better than a District man. *sighs* Oh the tragedy. She could have had someone from the Capitol like Boniface or Saxon, but of course not. It's just such a shame.
Ellie: *sighs* I'm perfectly content with my husband. I would never want to even think about being with a Capitolite. Or Tav.
.
Lux: Tav Kohl next.
Joost: He's married too. Tav and Marinka.
Cupid: Marinka is very sweet, it seems. They're quite happy together.
Saxon: Their kids are so cute.
Aristotle: Weird ship... Helen Bethel!
Lux: That is definitely weird.
Boniface: It is... Possible though. I mean, they're both very in-your-face and extroverted people.
Joost: Helen is like a young Marinka, so I suppose that's not surprising.
Honore: He could do much better than a District 7 girl! He should certainly be with a Capitolite, like myself. Or perhaps an escort like Alanena, anyone but a girl from the Districts!!
Wolf: I ship him with Phil.
Phil: Why? -_-
Wolf: Because you need someone. Legit though, Tav is a cool dude. He and Marinka are great. I couldn't ship him with anyone else.
Thor: Yeah, he's really nice. Good guy. And his kids are so sweet. I'd ship him with whoever makes him happy.
Tav: And that person is most certainly my lovely wife. Thanks for the suggestions though.
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Lux: Alanena next.
Wolf: I ship her with Phil.
Phil: Help T.T
Cupid: Sweet woman. If only she were younger she'd get along with Anakyn. He's a pretty sweet guy, it seems.
Piccolo: Nope, no question, definitely Jovia.
Viola: YESSS I so ship that they'd be great together!
Saxon: They are quite close, are they not? It's a bit inherent, escorting for Districts that are so similar in industry. The tributes from those Districts have been known to ally together because they are quite similar.
Vanellope: They are friends, the Capitol loves it when they go out to get their nails done together. Sometimes they get pedicures, sometimes facials... Shame that our news involves that kind of thing, I suppose, instead of actually relevant information.
Lux: And that's enough of that. Let's move on.
Alanena: *wry smile* No comment. *winks*
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Cupid: With three kids, yes.
Viola: Yeah, true. This is just a hypothetical though, of course. So, let's see...
Piccolo: *sighs* She was pretty when she was a teen. I'd love to have known her when she was a young Victor.
Vanellope: Well, it's easy to ship her with Tav, just because they're so close and very good friends.
Aristotle: Let's make it weird! What about... *thinks* Maxim! That's weird, right?
Cupid: That's very weird, kiddo. Although... Just basing it on personalities, I suppose it'd be possible.
Phil: Ellie is the kindest woman, and her husband is great. She always has us over for tea, she's really nice. Y'know, if she wasn't married, she'd be a fine match for Vesperus.
Pluto: *shakes head* Not good enough. Nobody is good enough.
Honore: She and her husband are quite sweet, but she could have done so much better than a District man. *sighs* Oh the tragedy. She could have had someone from the Capitol like Boniface or Saxon, but of course not. It's just such a shame.
Ellie: *sighs* I'm perfectly content with my husband. I would never want to even think about being with a Capitolite. Or Tav.
.
Lux: Tav Kohl next.
Joost: He's married too. Tav and Marinka.
Cupid: Marinka is very sweet, it seems. They're quite happy together.
Saxon: Their kids are so cute.
Aristotle: Weird ship... Helen Bethel!
Lux: That is definitely weird.
Boniface: It is... Possible though. I mean, they're both very in-your-face and extroverted people.
Joost: Helen is like a young Marinka, so I suppose that's not surprising.
Honore: He could do much better than a District 7 girl! He should certainly be with a Capitolite, like myself. Or perhaps an escort like Alanena, anyone but a girl from the Districts!!
Wolf: I ship him with Phil.
Phil: Why? -_-
Wolf: Because you need someone. Legit though, Tav is a cool dude. He and Marinka are great. I couldn't ship him with anyone else.
Thor: Yeah, he's really nice. Good guy. And his kids are so sweet. I'd ship him with whoever makes him happy.
Tav: And that person is most certainly my lovely wife. Thanks for the suggestions though.
.
Lux: Alanena next.
Wolf: I ship her with Phil.
Phil: Help T.T
Cupid: Sweet woman. If only she were younger she'd get along with Anakyn. He's a pretty sweet guy, it seems.
Piccolo: Nope, no question, definitely Jovia.
Viola: YESSS I so ship that they'd be great together!
Saxon: They are quite close, are they not? It's a bit inherent, escorting for Districts that are so similar in industry. The tributes from those Districts have been known to ally together because they are quite similar.
Vanellope: They are friends, the Capitol loves it when they go out to get their nails done together. Sometimes they get pedicures, sometimes facials... Shame that our news involves that kind of thing, I suppose, instead of actually relevant information.
Lux: And that's enough of that. Let's move on.
Alanena: *wry smile* No comment. *winks*
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District 4
Lux: Michael Spinnaker.
Honore: Oh, it's such a shame he lost his legs. I would have loved to spend some time with him.
Joost: Cool guy. I thought he was canoodling with Port though.
Piccolo: Oh, I hope so, they'd be so cute together!
Cupid: I don't know, they seem to be avoiding each other so maybe there are no sparks there. Besides, I think Port is a little bit like a lost dog, he needs someone just as lost.
Aristotle: We're talking about Michael though!
Cupid: Ah, you're right. What do you think Trixie? The question was for you too.
Trixie: *giggles* I dunno! *snuggles into Cupid's arms*
Aristotle: There are no wrong answers though! Name a Victor!
Trixie: Prentice!
Aristotle: *giggles* That's weird.
Viola: *considers* But possible? I dunno, maybe not.
Saxon: Prentice is a bit of a tiger in the Capitol, though, and Michael can't really have sex so I don't know if I can see that working at all.
Boniface: He's also quite close with Blushina, his escort. I'm sure they'd get along well if they were just a tad closer in age.
Michael: Or maybe you could not pry into my lovelife...
Blushina: *teasing* It appears as if your tribute Luna is rubbing off on you!
Michael: *shrugs and crosses his arms* Whatever.
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Lux: Port Stradlater.
Cupid: Another nice-looking guy. But definitely a lost cow. Someone help him.
Aristotle: I still ship him with Vesperus! Woo hoo! Tor, you do one!!
Numitor: *fidgets uncomfortably* I don't know...
Cupid: Just name a Victor, bud. Any Victor.
Numitor: I... Can't. I don't want to, this isn't...
Aristotle: It's just a game Tor!
Numitor: I don't know... Nona?
Aristotle: I love her! They could destroy people together!
Cupid: *laughs* I think that she has too much direction. She'd herd him straight to hell.
Boniface: He certainly seems to like Michael. I have a feeling he was the first to say something and Michael's been avoiding him. Just a hunch though.
Cupid: I wouldn't doubt it, that's for sure.
Honore: You guys are not good at this game! There are so many Capitolites that are dying to have him, all of them more deserving than a District citizen.
Saxon: Poor Port. Someone save him. Someone help him.
Port: Please save me T.T
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Lux: Blushina Sopheles next.
Vanellope: Maybe she could work with Port. They're often seen mentoring tributes together anyways, aren't they?
Cupid: It seems she does all the talking that he doesn't want to do.
Joost: Sounds like a good relationship to me.
Boniface: Me too my friend!
Wolf: I ship her with Phil.
Lux: Alright, I'm here to put an end to the running gag.
Wolf: What?! That's rough, dude. So rough.
Lux: I have no patience with running gags.
Phil: Thanks pal.
Lux: Sure thing kid.
Piccolo: She could also work with Alanena, but I still ship Jovenena. All the way!
Blushina: *smiles* You have some very interesting ideas, though I'm sure that none of them will really happen, my friends.
.
District 5
Lux: Timothy Delacroix.
Piccolo: Tim!!
Viola: He and Trina are adorable, ah! I love them together! Oh wait, we're supposed to ship other people. Hm...
Piccolo: He's so sweet! He could easily soften someone up like Anatoly and help them.
Viola: He and Kelly would be cute together though! They're even the same age range. They're just so comfortable around each other.
Phil: He's really sweet. He'd work well with pretty much anyone, for sure.
Wolf: *nods* Yeah, he'd be able to round out the edges of anyone. Trina's really made for him though.
Cupid: He has a very fatherly side to him, even if he doesn't have any children of his own. He would do well with a single parent, too. Or someone who is broken because of other reasons, like drugs. He'd do really well with Allegra from Twelve, I think.
Tim: I'll do my best to be a friend, but nobody will ever compare to my Trina.
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Lux: Next on the list... Kelly Fischer.
Honore: Who?
Boniface: The one that always hides.
Honore: ...Oh, I see.Hm. I don't know. She's so... Quiet. She should go out with someone really famous, someone that will help her get back in the spotlight. A Capitolite, perhaps.
Boniface: I'd ship her with myself. I do like a good game, of course.
Joost: I get it. Maybe she doesn't want to be shipped. I wouldn't want to be.
Cupid: She needs someone that is gentle, but also coaxes her out of her shell. Someone like Tim that would help her be more comfortable. Or something with someone that understands her, like Allegra. Not sure.
Scorpio: I get that Kelly might be scared of the crowds, which I understand. She'd need someone that understands that. Someone like Tav could help her too.
Pluto: Kelly doesn't need to get out of her shell. She needs someone that understands the horror of the Games and can help her when she's having flashbacks. Vesperus was really good at that for me, he'd be good at that for her too. But nobody deserves Vesperus.
Kelly: *hiding and has no comment*
Kelly: *hiding and has no comment*
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Lux: And, Zeoux Maximillian.
Piccolo: He's really nice!
Boniface: He's certainly interesting. Though, he is quite intelligent. He could do well with someone intelligent like Ellie.
Honore: Oh, Maxim, his children are the sweetest! Perhaps he would do well with a fellow father like Charlemagne, of course.
Cupid: I could see that working out, I suppose. Or even him and Tim? I don't know, any of those would work.
Aristotle: Or Namibia! That's weird! *giggles*
Cupid: They would certainly be an... Interesting couple. Or eyesore.
Lux: *snorts and bumps his shoulder* Be nice.
Cupid: Just saying.
Phil: We don't really know him, so we're just going to agree.
Thor: That was easy. *peace sign*
Maxim: *chuckles* Well, you all have very vivid imaginations, don't you?
.
District 6
Lux: *takes a breath* Phew. Almost halfway. Anatoly Carlisle.
Honore: Oh, that poor soul. Taken by drugs. She needs someone that would help her get clean.
Boniface: I suppose I'm biased, because I'd just love to date a Victor. I could help her though.
Cupid: No, you're too laidback. She'd certainly be able to sneak the drugs. After all, she doesn't seem like she's going to get off of drugs so easily. She needs someone absolutely adamant, that will keep her on a short leash until she's clean.
Piccolo: Oh, escort for sure then. Funnily enough, someone like Bonita would whoop her into shape.
Viola: No, she needs someone gentle but firm, not a fucking drill seargent.
Piccolo: *laughs* True!
Cupid: Viola's right, gentle but firm is probably best. Cartier is good at the tough love thing.
Wolf: District Six is my home. Just... Thinking about the drug epidemic there breaks my heart, man. My sister Jilianne is in the same place, it's rough. But I think that Toly needs more than just one person to help her. She needs a real support group.Woah, I just got real there. Sorry 'bout that.
Scorpio: You're right, though. Speaking as someone who's fought addiction, I wouldn't have done it without my family and my band fam, and music, of course. The perfect soulmate isn't just going to magically 'save' her.
.
Lux: And, Gian Mariani.
Piccolo: *giggles* Coffee. I ship him with coffee.
Viola: He seems to live off of it.
Piccolo: Real talk, though. Prentice.
Cupid: I feel like Prentice is the obvious answer.
Honore: I wouldn't ship him with Prentice, hmph. Have you seen him with that little girly friend of his though?
Thor: Wait, who, Agalia?! Don't make me laugh! Honestly though it's more likely that Gian would date Anakyn than her, I'd say. Mostly just because I don't think I've ever seen them interact out of class before, have you?
Phil: Nope.
Pluto: I never have.
Scorpio: I feel like I should but... No, I don't think I can recall it.
Wolf: I mean, Gian and Agalia would just live off of coffee in their happy little coffee house. But, I mean, Gian and Anakyn do their modelling work together.
Pluto: They spend so much time together Anakyn knows exactly how Gian likes his coffee.
Thor: Well, I mean, that's pretty simple-
Pluto: Based off of his mood.
All: Oh.
Wolf: Gian and Prentice have definitely had sex before though, I know that for a fact. They've had a pretty gnarly argument, though, from what I've heard.
Phil: Who the hell says gnarly unironically?
Scorpio: It's Wolf, are you really surprised?
Wolf: But if I don't ship him with any of those people I'd ship him with Phil.
Lux: What did I say about running gags?
Wolf: *shrugs* Just saying. It's always a possibility.
Phil: ...wolf why
Gian: I'll just take the coffee, please and thank you. I... My romantic life is... Confusing, at the moment. That's all I'll say.
Lux: *whispers* Giggs
Lux: *whispers* Giggs
.
Lux: Alright, that was interesting. Anyways, onto Jovia.
Piccolo: JOVENENA
Viola: JOVENENA
Wolf: Aw, she's really nice. I could get behind Jovenena.
Cupid: Wow, did our dysfunctional crew actually make a non-cringey ship? Wow. I'm surprised.
Aristotle: I'm surprised too!
Trixie: *claps happily* JOVENENA!
.
District 7
Lux: Well, since we're not allowed by the Highest Power to do Kendal, I suppose the only mentor we have is Helen Bethel.
Viola: OH SHE CAN SLAY ME
Piccolo: ME TOO
Viola: Who would not ship her with them???
Piccolo: God, I love her.
Pluto: So... she doesn't love Nona? Even though she proposes to Nona?
Wolf: That's right.
Pluto: Cis people confuse me.
Phil: *pats their back* Helen is quite confusing.
Wolf: I ship her with Phil.
Phil: -_-
Wolf: What? She's so fun! I'd totally date her.
Thor: I thought this was obvious. Aren't she and Anakyn dating?
Scorpio: No, they're just friends.
Thor: Oh. Huh. I see. I mean, I'd date her.
Scorpio: Yeah, me too.
Phil: I suppose if I wasn't gay I'd date her.
Pluto: She's really close with Klaus, too. Kendal and Gravity's son.
Viola: I WILL GLADLY DATE HER
Piccolo: AS WILL I
Cupid: She's so incredibly energetic. She needs someone that can keep up with her. If she and Anakyn lived together, though, I'm afraid the house would explode thanks to some high-tech pranks that would blow everything up. Oh, God forbid, if they had a child... I don't even want to think of that.
Aristotle: I love Helen Bethel! I wish I were older so I could date her! But I can ship her with everyone!
Pluto: *shrugs* Poly ships exist. She'd do great in one, she's so loving to everyone.
Cupid: You know, I agree. Maybe she'd do well with one Anakyn type, mischievous and energetic like her, and one Klaus type, who keeps them both in check.
Helen: *giggles* I just like to flirt a little bit! *shrugs*
.
Lux: And, Anakyn.
Piccolo: MEEE
Viola: MEEEE TOO
Piccolo: DAMN SON
Viola: I SECOND THAT
Honore: I would love to date him! *fans herself*
Wallace Twins: *squealing about how they would totally date him*
Wolf: Oh, oh, I ship him with... PHIL!
Phil: -_- I mean, it's not like I haven't thought about it, but... Alright, who hasn't?
Wolf: *laughs* You're right! Alright but have you seen his eyes?
Pluto: Can you all not fangirl for a minute?
Wolf: *laughs* Sorry dude. I dunno, though. I mean, he and Helen are maniacal together.
Cupid: He could technically date you someday, Tor. *ruffles his hair*
Numitor: *squeaks and blushes* What?!
Cupid: Real talk though, you're fifteen. Four years is too big a gap when you're fifteen, got it?
Numitor: Whatever! Yes, I get it, I wasn't actually considering it.
Lux: And, Anakyn.
Piccolo: MEEE
Viola: MEEEE TOO
Piccolo: DAMN SON
Viola: I SECOND THAT
Honore: I would love to date him! *fans herself*
Wallace Twins: *squealing about how they would totally date him*
Wolf: Oh, oh, I ship him with... PHIL!
Phil: -_- I mean, it's not like I haven't thought about it, but... Alright, who hasn't?
Wolf: *laughs* You're right! Alright but have you seen his eyes?
Pluto: Can you all not fangirl for a minute?
Wolf: *laughs* Sorry dude. I dunno, though. I mean, he and Helen are maniacal together.
Cupid: He could technically date you someday, Tor. *ruffles his hair*
Numitor: *squeaks and blushes* What?!
Cupid: Real talk though, you're fifteen. Four years is too big a gap when you're fifteen, got it?
Numitor: Whatever! Yes, I get it, I wasn't actually considering it.
Aristotle: He's so famous! I ship him with Tor!! I want Tor to marry famous!
Numitor: *bumps his shoulder* Shut up Tot. Please.
Trixie: He's famous!
Cupid: I don't know, I think he's destined to end up with a celebrity or Capitolite if he doesn't want to die. Probably the highest bidder. *laughs a bit* Ah, I'm kidding. The problem is that he's already too smart on his own, so if he ended up with the silent, bright type like Tor, I'm afraid nothing would stop them from world domination. At least Helen diverts his attention with pranks.
Aristotle: Tor, you need to marry Anakyn and take over the world!
Numitor: *grumbles* Shut up.
Anakyn: *laughs* I'm honored. I'm currently keeping my options open.
.
Numitor: *bumps his shoulder* Shut up Tot. Please.
Trixie: He's famous!
Cupid: I don't know, I think he's destined to end up with a celebrity or Capitolite if he doesn't want to die. Probably the highest bidder. *laughs a bit* Ah, I'm kidding. The problem is that he's already too smart on his own, so if he ended up with the silent, bright type like Tor, I'm afraid nothing would stop them from world domination. At least Helen diverts his attention with pranks.
Aristotle: Tor, you need to marry Anakyn and take over the world!
Numitor: *grumbles* Shut up.
Anakyn: *laughs* I'm honored. I'm currently keeping my options open.
.
District 8
Lux: Alright, next up is... Tartan Vincent.
All: *deflate immediately* Oh...
Piccolo: Um...
Viola: Er...
Aristotle: Wow, this is awkward. Alright, I'll throw out one then. How about Anatoly?
Cupid: That's a disaster waiting to happen. God, they'd be horrible for each other. Certainly an odd combo.
Honore: I don't know, he's really attractive for a District citizen, I would take him if only his personality weren't so...
All: So Tartan.
Honore: Yes, so Tartan.
Aristotle: Maybe he just needs someone nice, like Ellie.
Cupid: He'd eat Ellie alive. He needs someone with a lot of balls. Someone who's played dirty before and knows all the tricks and won't let him play them.
Numitor: Like you.
Cupid: *!* What!?
Numitor: *small smirk* *shrugs* He could technically date you someday, Q.
Cupid: *can't even be mad at the roast* Alright, yes. Someone like me.
Lux: *links arm with Cupid's quickly* You wouldn't want to date Tartan, though, would you?
Cupid: *smirks* Of course not. *spanks him*
Piccolo&Viola: *exchange a look*
Boniface: Alright, let's move past the PDA.
Tartan: You are all so ridiculous. *deeply amused*
.
Saxon: Next is Anthony Tidwell.
Lux: *remembers his mother is there* Oh, ahem, yes, right. Of course.
Aristotle: He's old! He needs someone else old! Like Namibia!
Honore: Don't make me vomit!
Cupid: No, Anthony needs someone laidback like him. He'd do well with Vale, they'd keep each other company, I think.
Phil: I don't think I've ever actually seen him in person...
Scorpio: Me neither.
Wolf: He seems pretty nice, though! I ship him with someone else nice, there are a lot of nice Victors. Ellie, Tav, Tim, whoever would make him happy.
Honore: *still offended at Aristotle's comment* Ugh, you're all so misguided. He should certainly be with a Capitolite!
Piccolo: He could do well with Saxon, if she weren't aromantic.
Viola: Oh, yeah, they'd make good friends! They're both pretty chill, I bet they'd get along well!
Anthony: *shrugs* I haven't had time to think about most of that.
.
Lux: Alright... Who wants to brave Bonita?
Viola: Well... She's not bad looking...
Aristotle: Maybe she'd kick Tartan's ass!
Cupid: Hm, maybe. Wait, where'd you hear that word?
Aristotle: I'm eleven, I'm not a child anymore. I know what swears are.
Cupid: Don't swear.
Numitor: You swear though. A lot.
Trixie: Dirty mouth, Q!
Lux: You should hear him in- *clears his throat* the workplace.
Saxon: *raises eyebrow*
Lux: *T.T* I'm so sorry Mom
Wolf: I mean, she's got a rough exterior, but maybe she could be softened up with some TLC!
Honore: She would never go for a District citizen. She actually has class.
Piccolo: I GOT IT. BLUSHINA. POW POW. BLUSHITA.
Viola: OH MY GOD BLUSHITA! YES! PERFECT!
Pluto: I suppose I could see that.
Wolf: BLUSHITA YESSSSS
Bonita: *rolls eyes* Well, at least it's not Tartan.
.
District 9
Lux: Let's get this one out of the way. *rubs his temples* *mutters* Prentice Tholberg.
Piccolo: OH MY GOD PRENTICE!!!
Viola: PRENTICE OH MY GOD!
Piccolo: I LOVE HIM HE NEEDS TO DATE ME
Viola: I LOVE HIM TOO I WANT HIM TO SLAY ME
Both: ME ME ME ME ME!
Honore: *fans herself, giggling* He's quite the charmer, and he knows how to treat a woman- oh, my!- Who wouldn't ship him with themself?
Wallace Twins: *screeching in the background*
Aristotle: I want to date Prentice too!!
Cupid: *blinks* Wait, what?
Aristotle: *ears flush* I mean, you know... Cause...
Cupid: *ruffles his hair* It can be in whatever way you want.
Aristotle: *still quiet*
Viola: Oh my God Anakyn and Prentice would be so fucking hot together.
Piccolo: You're so right!!
Phil: *shakes head* Prentice needs someone that can put the light back into his eyes. And so far, I haven't seen it.
Wolf: Yeah, the little dude's pretty shaken. Especially after shit hit the fan with Gian. I mean, he's good friends with Vale, but Vale doesn't do that for him. Nobody's done that for him.
Thor: *frowns* Yeah, I haven't seen him look alive since... He was on his chariot, I guess. I don't even know if he was alive then.
Scorpio: Poor guy... *frowns*
Wolf: He needs someone who won't objectify him and will force him to change some of his bad habits. And so far nobody's done it.
Phil: *quietly* Nobody's really cared enough to.
Prentice: *quickly* Hey, don't worry about me!! I'm very honored for your praise, thank you thank you! *forces a smile*
.
Lux: Next up, Vale Dimitrov.
Honore: *sighs* A lost soul. It seems Prentice is his saving grace, though. Maybe he'll pull himself out of the trench.
Saxon: He was once a very depressed young man. It's nice to see him doing well.
Cupid: I'd board the Vanthony ship, to be honest. They could make it work because they've had similar experiences and could bond over it.
Lux: Unfortunately, Vale doesn't seem to be the most popular of the Victors at the moment. He and Prentice have certainly stirred the pot of the other Victors.
Cupid: *nods* I've heard it's been nasty.
Wolf: I can attest to that.
Phil: I've never met Vale, but he seems like a good guy.
Scorpio: *nods* He's always ducked out of the media, so I don't really know that much about him.
Thor: *nods* I'm from a Career District and I barely know about him.
Aristotle: *back to his animated self* Yay Vanthony!
Trixie: *claps* Yay!
Vale: *small shrug* *sighs* Oh well. Let them play their games.
.
Lux: Demetrius.
Piccolo: I mean, he's not bad looking...
Viola: A bit of an airhead.
Piccolo: *murmurs* A lot of an airhead.
Viola: I mean, he's the only one I've ever seen really get a rouse out of Prentice. Weren't you talking about that earlier?
Phil: That's... Not what I was thinking when I said that-
Piccolo: She's right, Demetrius really puts a light into Prentice's eyes!
Wolf: Probably fire, because Prentice is so frustrated with him all the time.
Thor: I wouldn't be surprised if Prentice had a dart board with Demetrius's face on it.
Cupid: Maybe Prentice hates him to hide his deep feelings.
Piccolo: Ahaha, yes! That'd be great!
Viola: That'd be so great!!
Piccolo: We should make this happen!
Cupid: *snorts* I'd like to see you try.
Wolf: Maybe Demetrius is just jealous that Prentice is always sleeping with a bunch of other people because they wear short skirts while Demetrius wears T-shirts, and they're cheer captains, and he's on the bleachers, dreaming 'bout the day, when Prentice wakes up and finds that what he's looking for has been here the whole time.
Scorpio: If Prentice could see that Demetrius is the one that understands him and that's been there all along, so why can't he see? That he belongs with him?
Phil: Why are we friends with them?
Pluto: Because we don't know who Taylor Swift is in this universe.
Phil: Oh, yeah, right.
Demetrius: Well, this turned into a trainwreck. As everything does with you people.
.
Lux: Demetrius.
Piccolo: I mean, he's not bad looking...
Viola: A bit of an airhead.
Piccolo: *murmurs* A lot of an airhead.
Viola: I mean, he's the only one I've ever seen really get a rouse out of Prentice. Weren't you talking about that earlier?
Phil: That's... Not what I was thinking when I said that-
Piccolo: She's right, Demetrius really puts a light into Prentice's eyes!
Wolf: Probably fire, because Prentice is so frustrated with him all the time.
Thor: I wouldn't be surprised if Prentice had a dart board with Demetrius's face on it.
Cupid: Maybe Prentice hates him to hide his deep feelings.
Piccolo: Ahaha, yes! That'd be great!
Viola: That'd be so great!!
Piccolo: We should make this happen!
Cupid: *snorts* I'd like to see you try.
Wolf: Maybe Demetrius is just jealous that Prentice is always sleeping with a bunch of other people because they wear short skirts while Demetrius wears T-shirts, and they're cheer captains, and he's on the bleachers, dreaming 'bout the day, when Prentice wakes up and finds that what he's looking for has been here the whole time.
Scorpio: If Prentice could see that Demetrius is the one that understands him and that's been there all along, so why can't he see? That he belongs with him?
Phil: Why are we friends with them?
Pluto: Because we don't know who Taylor Swift is in this universe.
Phil: Oh, yeah, right.
Demetrius: Well, this turned into a trainwreck. As everything does with you people.
.
District 10
Lux: Now that our singalong is over... *shoots Wolf and Scorpio a look*
Wolf: #sorrynotsorry
Lux: Next is Arthur Warrick.
Piccolo: Oh, I ship him and cake.
Viola: He bakes AMAZING food, his cooking show is so addicting to watch! Probably just because he's so gentle.
Aristotle: He's married, right?
Cupid: He is indeed. Caspar is the sweetest, it seems. Arthur is in a poly relationship, though, he, Caspar, and a Capitolite named Valenty. Who is the brother-in-law of Charlemagne, the escort for District 10.
Piccolo: That's great! How could I ship him with anyone else?!
Viola: Agreed!
Phil: Besides, they have the cutest little kid.
Thor: Yeah, Lethia's great and I love her and she's never done anything wrong in her entire whole wide life.
Arthur: *snorts* Never done anything wrong. Yeah, right.
.
Lux: Roxanne Tilki.
All: *quiet*
Piccolo: She's kind of mean, it seems. Like, she won really young and so I guess I get it.
Viola: She could be nice, though. She's been nice in the Capitol before. She just needs the right person.
Honore: She needs a Capitolite to show her just how wonderful the Capitol is! Namibia and I could certainly do that!
Boniface: I'd do it! She was a pretty little thing when she was my age, if I could just zap her back there.
Joost: She's too salty. She'd never give us a chance.
Cupid: I'd put her with someone that could calm her the fuck down instead of trying to force her to think a certain way. If she were to canoodle with a Capitolite, it would have to be a softie like Charlemagne. She hates Charlemagne solely because he's a Capitolite, though, so she'd never go with a Capitolite I'd bet. She could go with someone like Vale, who is just a very sheep-herdy type person. Or she could be a strong protector for someone like Kelly, because they understand each other.
Aristotle: *giggles* That's a weird pairing!
Cupid: Certainly is.
Roxanne: I will never date a Capitolite. I am perfectly happy being single, thanks.
.
Lux: Charlemagne.
Piccolo: Hm... He's really nice. He'd be a good Dad type with someone like Maxim. Or he could be a gentle coaxing partner to someone angry, like Roxanne as we were saying.
Viola: Yeah, he'd be good with most anyone.
Cupid: I couldn't ship him with anyone else but his wife, Jingle. She's quite a, um, good lady.
Lux: I didn't know you knew them!
Cupid: I may have had tea with them both once or twice.
Lux: *interested* Is there a reason? Seems like an odd friendship to me!
Cupid: *defensive* Just getting some parenting advice, alright? I wasn't ever meant to have kids and suddenly I had three, one of which I, I didn't even know, how to care for. *crosses his arms*
Lux: Oh, I see. *sheepishly* Sorry if I pressed.
Aristotle: They're my friends' parents! *giggles* It's weird to ship them with other people!
Charlemagne: *small paternal smile* I do love my Jingle very much.
.
District 11
Lux: Well, we're not allowed to do Skeeter so I suppose the next one is Chervil.
Piccolo: Hm... Ew.
Viola: I agree, ew.
Saxon: Chervil is quite misguided in... Many respects.
Piccolo: Fuck it, I'm gonna ship him with a guy just to make him angry!
Viola: Oh, good idea! What about... Oh, let's make it someone in his age range to make it even more uncomfortable!
Piccolo: How about A Career in his range?
Viola: VESPERUS
Piccolo: VESPERUS
Viola: #VESPERVIL
Piccolo: YES #VESPERVIL
Scorpio: No, I know what will make him more uncomfortable! *raises hand* He's from District 11, I've spent a good deal of time with the guy. He's really not as bad as he was. I mean, it's a process, but he's getting better...
Wolf: Hmph. #Vespervil
Scorpio: Just saying, but he always gets awkward when someone mentions District 1. Moreso when that District 1 is Miracle, that girl that won the Games a year after him.
Wolf: ...Oh. She's a neat girl, that one. She could screw his head on right, that's for sure.
Chervil: *crosses his arms, pouting* I don't like this game very much. Thank you very much.
.
Lux: Bonaventure.
Piccolo: Who the hell wants to say "Yes I am a proud Abatescianni!"??? Like, I've seen some pretty ridiculous last names, but that's so long.
Viola: Really, because, I would marry him just so I could be an Abatescianni.
Cupid: Bonaventure could be such a catch, if only he would smile. He needs someone that could make him smile. A prankster type like an aged-up Anakyn. Even one of the Wallace twins. I don't know if I've ever seen Bonaventure smile. But man, he's built hearty and strong.
Lux: *frowns* Oh. Yeah.
Saxon: But there's nothing wrong with pudge, is there Mr. Cupid? *Saxon Hastings death glare when Lux isn't looking*
Cupid: Oh, um, of course not! You work it.
Lux: *grins* Oh, thanks.
Viola: If I were close to thirty I'd date Bonaventure! He's sleek.
Piccolo: We got Lux to smile, we could do the same for Bonaventure!
Wolf: Yeah!
Phil: I dunno, maybe he's just physically unable to smile.
Scorpio: I live in District 11 and I've seen him smile approximately once. He was looking at someone on his phone. I didn't see what it was though.
Honore: That's more than I've seen him smile. I tend to avoid the downers like him, though.
Scorpio: He's not really a downer... He's a nice guy from what I've seen.
Bonaventure: It was a picture of my cat, Stockings. One of my five cats. Help me I'm so lonely T.T
.
District 12
Lux: Alright, next is... Braelyn.
Piccolo: Damn, this is a toughie. She just seems... Really composed. Like, she always fades into the background.
Boniface: Maybe she'd do well with Kelly though, because of that.
Honore: I'd ship her with me, of course! She was a beautiful young woman with such potential and she just faded away.
Viola: She's also pretty similar to Cerena. Just very quiet and somewhat sullen. They'd definitely get along well, but dating wouldn't be good for either of them I think.
Cupid: Braelyn just needs someone that can be her friend as well as her partner. She seems quite lonely, especially considering her only neighbor is someone so tortured as Allegra. Someone from District 12, probably. She'd do well with the simplest coal miner the District has. Someone dedicated and simple.
Honore: *bites her tongue* I disagree.
Saxon: I think that Fuckboy is right.
Lux: Mom!!!
Cupid: *snorts*
Saxon: Sorry, I think that Mr. Fuckboy is right.
Lux: Mooom!!
Cupid: It's alright Lux.
Lux: *dying inside* Whyyy T.T
.
Saxon: Next, Allegra Pakulski.
Viola: ME
Piccolo: ME TOO
Boniface: I mean, she's... She's a very strong, intelligent, beautiful woman. Of course I would ship her with myself.
Honore: Sweet Allegra! My goodness, she needs a sweet Capitolite man that can help her.
Aristotle: Numitor is a sweet Capitolite man! But he's already going to marry Anakyn so...
Numitor: Aristotle, cut it out, would you?
Aristotle: I'll date her if he doesn't!
Cupid: *amused* I think you'd have too much energy for her. She needs someone gentle. I mean, if Tor were older it'd work. They've both been through more shit than they deserved and Numitor is a really nurturing person. After all, he got two younger siblings through the tragedy of a lifetime all by himself.
Numitor: *shakes head* *mutters* Other people helped.
Aristotle: Tor's the best oldest child!
Trixie: Yeah! The best!
Cupid: And they both sell themselves far too short. She needs someone like Numitor.
Numitor: *shrugs him off* Whatever.
Phil: But we all agree, not Hoke.
All: Definitely not Hoke.
Joost: That is not a healthy relationship.
Allegra: Of course it's a healthy relationship!! I love him, he loves me, and it's rough but overall we always survive and grow!
Hoke: Yeah, hear that? Leave her the fuck alone!
.
Lux: *rubs his temples* One more. Ambrose.
Piccolo: Oh, hot damn, I'd take them.
Viola: A bit of a snoot but damn, can they help me with my make-up? They're fab.
Piccolo: SO FAB THO CAN WE START #AMBROLO
Viola: *snorts* Like they'd give you a second glance.
Piccolo: sister why
Cupid: They are very focused. Like me. God, if they were with someone like me they would destroy each other. They're like Demetrius because they want to move up to a better District, but those two probably wouldn't work together.
Piccolo: Because Demetrius has a big crush on Prentice that he thinks is unrequited.
Cupid: I would say opposites attract, but I'm sure someone like Ambrose only sees someone like Allegra as dead weight. They need someone that will inspire them and push them. Maybe someone like Piccolo would help them out. Just kidding, they'd hate that someone like you was in a higher position than them. No offense.
Piccolo: Wait, what's that supposed to mean?
Cupid: *sighs* Anyways, the point is that I think they'd do best with a stylist. Just about equal level status-wise, and they can be fabulous together.
Wolf: Damn, dude. You're taking this too seriously. I ship them with Phil!
Phil: What?!
Wolf: Just gotta finish with the running gag strong. Although, man, they are in your age range!
Phil: I'm gay -_-
Wolf: Oh, yeah. Whoops.
Ambrose: I'll find someone I deserve someday, when I'm good and ready for it.
.
Lux: Alright, that's the end of the list. So, let's finish the banter so we can all go home. I need to let off some steam.
Cupid: Is that a pastry steam or an invitation over?
Lux: Invitation. I meant for that to be on the down-low, but... Whatever.
Aristotle: You always go over to Lux's place, Q. What do you guys do?
Lux: Oh! Um...
Cupid: We play chess.
Aristotle: Really? I didn't know you could play chess!
Lux: Well, it is the SYOT trend currently so we're just keeping up with the times.
Emmet: *pops in* ENOUGH FOURTH WALL BREAKING
Benjamin: Go away you doof, we haven't been introduced yet.
Emmet: Still bummed I didn't get to answer any part of this question.*sighs* See y'all at the party.
Benjamin: Peace out.
Aristotle: Chess is neat! Can you teach me how to play sometime!
Cupid: ...Um... Of course! Of course, I mean, I know how to play chess, so of course I would teach you, my godson, how to play it.
Numitor: Will you play with me when you get home? I love chess.
Cupid: *gives him a side-eye*
Numitor: *smirks*
Cupid: Of... Course.
Saxon: *greatly amused*
Piccolo: Alright but I'm still on Jovenena.
Viola: And Blushita.
Aristotle: And Anator!!
Numitor: Or Tarpid. Or should it be Cutan?
Aristotle: Or Quantartan?!
Numitor: Oh my God yes.
Cupid: Alright, you've made your point.
Lux: What about Clux? T.T
Piccolo: How about Vesport?
Viola: Or Vespervil!
Piccolo: And we simply can't forget Prentrius!
Viola: Or Demetrice?
Boniface: *smirks* I think we've had a pretty successful haul.
Lux: Then let's call it quits.
Cupid: *mumbles* I need to learn chess fast.
Numitor: *snickers*
Lux: This is Lux Hastings and the 125 Capitol crew, signing off.
Pilotheos: This is your President speaking. I was included in the questioning, but decided not to speak, only because I didn't want to spook or put pressure on our dear Victors and escorts. As a leader I try to be as unbiased as possible. Though I suppose I have some pairings that would work quite well. But that's another story.
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